Recognising Autism in Women & Girls

Autism is often thought of as something that mainly affects boys, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Autistic women and girls have been around forever, yet many have gone undiagnosed or were only diagnosed much later in life. Why? Because female autism often looks different from male autism, and for a long time, people just didn’t know what to look for.

For many autistic women, their struggles were dismissed, misunderstood, or misdiagnosed. Instead of being recognized as autistic, they were called shy, anxious, bossy, or overly sensitive. They learned to hide their differences, blending in as best they could—something known as masking.

Let’s explore how autism presents differently in women and girls, why so many were overlooked for years, and what masking is (and why it’s so exhausting).

Why Autism in Women Was Overlooked for So Long

For decades, autism research focused almost entirely on male traits, leading to a very specific idea of what autism looks like—things like struggling with social skills, having deep interests in niche topics, and preferring routine and repetition.

But here’s the problem: autistic women and girls often present differently. Many:

✔ Want to fit in and make friends (even if it’s really difficult)
✔ Mimic social behaviours by watching others
✔ Have intense interests, but in socially “acceptable” topics like books, animals, or celebrities
✔ Mask their autistic traits to blend in

Because of this, many autistic women slipped through the cracks and were left undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or even personality disorders.

Zoey, our Operations Executive, experienced this first hand. She was diagnosed at 31 and shared:

"Looking back now, it's baffling to me that my autistic traits were missed. I often hung out in the kitchen with the adults at children's parties because they were so overwhelming. I’ve had sensory issues with food since I was 18 months old, and I’ve always struggled to make and keep friends. These things were all dismissed by doctors as phases, social anxiety, or attention-seeking. Finally getting my diagnosis and understanding how my brain works has been life-changing."

Zoey is far from alone. Many autistic women—often called the "lost girls"—didn’t receive a diagnosis until adulthood, simply because the signs were missed or misunderstood.

What is Masking? And Why is it So Exhausting?

Masking is something many autistic women (and men) do to hide their struggles and fit in with the world around them. It’s like putting on an act every single day to appear “normal.”

Common masking behaviours include:

✔ Forcing eye contact, even when it feels uncomfortable
✔ Rehearsing social interactions or copying how others speak
✔ Suppressing stimming (self-soothing movements) like fidgeting or rocking
✔ Hiding sensory sensitivities, even when sounds, lights, or textures feel overwhelming

Masking can be a survival skill, helping autistic people navigate social situations. But the problem is, it takes a huge amount of mental energy, and over time, it can lead to autistic burnout—a state of deep exhaustion where someone feels physically, mentally, and emotionally drained.

For some, burnout can last days or weeks, while for others, it can take months or even years to recover.

Recognising Female Autism: Why Awareness Matters

More and more autistic women are now receiving diagnoses in adulthood, and awareness is improving. But there’s still work to be done to ensure young autistic girls don’t go unnoticed like the generations before them.

Here’s what can help:

✔ Better awareness among doctors, teachers, and parents so autistic traits in women and girls are recognized sooner.
✔ A broader understanding of masking, so autistic people aren’t dismissed just because they "seem fine."
✔ More support for late-diagnosed autistic individuals, helping them unmask safely and avoid burnout.

Moving Forward: Every Autistic Woman Deserves to Be Understood

Understanding autism in women and girls means changing how we think about it—not just looking for stereotypical traits but recognizing the full spectrum of how autism presents.

For those who are diagnosed later in life, getting that confirmation can be life-changing. It helps explain years (or even decades) of struggles and provides a sense of identity, self-acceptance, and relief.

Autistic women have always been here—it’s just taken the world a long time to recognize them. But with more awareness, better diagnosis, and growing support, we can make sure no more autistic girls grow up feeling lost and misunderstood.